Oil change

A few days ago I needed to get the oil changed in our van.  While that in itself doesn't seem like such a big deal, it is when it includes hanging out at Walmart with 4 busy boys in tow.  I wish I could say that the picture above encompasses our experience, but that is far from the truth.  For the first hour we shopped for things we needed, and looked around.  Beyond my littlest's strong desire to stand up in the cart, even with belt snugly attached, we got along very well for that hour.  Once we concluded our shopping, we headed to the back to check on the status of the van.  They let me know that I would need to wait 15 minutes or so.  My boys had been good long enough!  They began to run around, and goof off.  It was nothing that bad, but I'm a terribly self conscience person, and I worry far too much about what other people think.  I kept trying to get the boys to sit on the bench and play with their toy cars.  That lasted for 1 to 2 minutes, if that, then they were up and busy.  I started to think about my insecurity that drives me to want my kids to be "perfect" in public.  I decided to lighten up and just start talking to those around me.  The first was a kind man from El Salvador.  He thought the kids were great, and he wasn't bothered at all.  He has 5 sisters and 4 brothers.  He talked to me about how in his culture families prefer boys.  We both agreed that boys and girls are important and without girls life would cease as we know it.  The next man I talked to was the one behind the counter when he finally called me up.  He was laughing at my busy, crazy boys and told me that he gets it, he has a brother.  "Ah, I see, you have a brother?"  He replied, "No, I said 8 brothers!"  He has 8 brothers!  He was laughing because I had asked my oldest to be gentle with my youngest.  Boys and gentle can be a tough combination!

As we were leaving, I joked to the elderly couple who were waiting in line that the room was about to get really quiet again.  The gentleman looked at me and said, "Why, there's nothing wrong with their noise, they are just being kids."  

Three sympathetic and kind souls; what a blessing to this tired mom.  

I realized through this experience that I do have too strong a tendency to focus on the negative comments and negative people I run into.  I often assume that people won't like the noise and craziness that my kids bring to pretty much everywhere we go.  I assume they are going to see me as some kind of failure.  But, so often they don't, and even if they do, their opinion is not necessarily true!

I think this tendency does stem from insecurity and lack of confidence within me.  I feel a bit like I'm rambling with these thoughts, but I think the bottom line for me is to learn to focus on the kind and thoughtful things said to me rather than the negative, and even more than that, I need to focus on how God sees me, and know that while I can always grow to be more and more like Jesus, God loves me as I am because of Jesus.