Co-op fun!

Isaac and his preschool buddy, Gianna, having fun with their mustaches.  

The "wild" side of God

A few days ago I saw an interview by the fixer-upper couple Chip and Joanna Gains, and it struck a chord with me in several ways.  When I listened to him describe his wife, and when I listened to her describe herself, I was sitting there thinking that they were describing so many aspects of me:  "good" kid, obedient rule follower, organized, (to a degree), and predictable.  Then they began describing him.  He described himself, and she described him, and those descriptions reminded me so much of Peter:  as close to the edge of the line as possible, risk taking, unpredictable, free, and even a bit wild; even their example of the way he lets the gas in the car get as low as possible before filling up is true of Pete and I.  My dad never let the gas get below half of a tank, and so when I married Peter, I had to get used to getting into the car with the tank on or below empty on a pretty regular basis!  What I enjoyed most about this particular interview was how they wove their differences into something unified, and how they each saw aspects of God in each other's gifts.  This is what God seeks to do in marriage and in relationships in general!  He wants us to see more of what He looks like.  I have loved life with Peter for so many reasons, but I think one of the things I like best is his wild and free side.  He is not encumbered by man's approval.  There is an aspect of God that is this way, too.  I like to think of God as like Aslan, in the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe: dangerous and not safe, but so full of love!

Maybe it's because I have so many sons, or because I have enjoyed life more fully since I started sharing life with my wilder half, but there is this adventurous aspect of my man (and in my crazy boys) that I am more and more aware of and feel called to embrace and enjoy.  It's made my life so much better!

The other day I was walking through the house noting just how much furniture Peter has made for us.

He will go dumpster diving, and ride home on his bicycle with a pallet on his back which he has then turned into furniture that adorns our home.

  I would be worried about people's stares as I rode through town on my bike with a new pallet in tow, but for Peter, it's a grand adventure.

 God created all of us with unique gifts, abilities, and personalities.  I think that the more we can embrace that the more we can be unified to one another.  I know for certain that God knew what I needed when He sent Pete my way.  

9 years!

While we were recently at the Outer Banks, we celebrated 9 years of marriage!  On the one hand, it feels like yesterday we were those shy kids falling for each other and choosing to commit out lives to each other.   On the other hand, when I look around at my kids, and the changes our lives have taken since those early days, it does feel closer to 9 years.  I am grateful every day for this man God gave to me to be my husband in this life and father to my sons.  I love him more than words can express.

World's best husband.

Best daddy ever!

School days

We have started our school year; in fact we have been at it for a month already.  I didn't get any "1st day of school" pictures yet, but maybe one day soon, I will.  It's been rough settling into a routine this year.  Most of the difficulty stems from my one-year-old, who either screams at me most of the morning, regularly injures himself because of his obsession to climb everything, harasses the brother I am trying to school, or gets into; colors on; *fill in the blank*; everything in sight.

He reminds me a lot of Marcus, who was also very destructive and regularly had me in tears.  Ah, those were the days.  I don't cry much about the very colorful, broken, chaotic mess that my house is now, but this kind of curious kid makes for a hectic attempt at education for sure.

Thankfully, the addition of a gate to keep him out of the dining room and hence off of the table, and a school room with a door have been lifesavers!  I generally have to work with one of my kiddos at a time, with the door to the school room closed, so the others can entertain and keep my 1-year-old occupied.  He does stand outside the door and scream sometimes, but I have to say my older kids are really bringing some sanity to school time.

Their favorite game to play is "tear apart the couches".  Yes, it is as it sounds.  I fought this game for awhile because I actually like to sit on my couches, and I had this idea that I could keep something "nice" in my house.  But, as they say; that was so yesterday!  Conrad likes to play in the forts and tunnels his brothers build, and the ones who are on break from school really enjoy the creativity that comes from this game.

There is so much about motherhood that involves letting go, relaxing, letting go....did I mention not holding on so tightly?  This season forces me to embrace contentment at a whole new level, and to be honest, it is liberating.  I don't really have much "me time", or many "nice things" right now.  And I'm truly okay with that.  God is teaching me to rest and to be content, and while it can be a hard lesson to learn, and one that my flesh fights, I'm glad He's working in my heart.  My kids will only be little once.  I'm trying to remember that in this season.

 

This is how I'd prefer to shop, too!

Homeschool Co-op Mom

I believe that God gives us our children very specifically, and I am convinced that two of the reasons he gave me my firstborn are to help me to grow out of my shy shell, and to be more social.  I tend toward shyness, and I am most at peace alone, or with a few close friends.  Crowds often intimidate and exhaust me.  Since I began homeschooling Sam, he has regularly asked me to put him into public school.  He thrives on social interactions, and crowds, and the bus ride with crowds of kids appeals to him.  He is energized by people and especially his friends.  This year we compromised and joined a homeschool co-op.  It's a newer, smaller group, and it seemed like a good fit for us.  I was, naturally, slightly intimidated, but after week one, I can honestly say, this was a good move for us.  Sam is loving our Friday co-op and soccer day.  It's nice to have other moms come along side me in instructing my kids, and it's fun to be able to teach a little myself.   Even my shy second born really enjoyed his first day at co-op, and my 3 year old had a blast as well.

My littlest one didn't really like the co-op, but I'm not surprised.  He prefers to play like this:

Baby boy is working on some teeth!

We officially started school last Monday, but I don't have any picture proof yet.  It's been a wild ride trying to settle my free spirited boys into a little bit more of a routine.  Hopefully things will smooth out over the coming weeks, but I have also learned to keep my expectations fairly low, and just try and get the work completed each day to the best of my ability.  My youngest has been especially fussy for the last several weeks as he works on some teeth.  Some of my kids handle teeth easily, and some of them, not so much.  He's falling into the, "not so much" category.  He doesn't enjoy the time I spend working with his brothers on school either.  He lets us know by climbing on the table, crying at my feet most of the morning, and creating general mayhem. I do feel like I handle the chaos better as the school years begin to pass by, but it can be hard for me to keep calm in the moment.

This morning baby was his usual fussy self.  I was trying to get us ready to go out the door for a picnic at the park, and he was spending the morning crying at my feet if I even tried to put him down.  I decided to use the bathroom, slap on a little makeup, and straighten my frizzy hair, (I can do all of these things in about 5 to 7 minutes.)  Baby boy stood outside the bathroom door and screamed at me the entire time!  At first I was feeling really stressed.  Then I remembered to pray about the situation; silly and unimportant as it may seem to someone reading this.  Thankfully, the Lord helped me to calm my nerves, and by the time I came out, I was able to find some humor in the situation and feel sympathy for my little one.

I'm thankful for God's grace to me which in turn helps me to give grace to my kiddo.

Compost

Last year, Sam picked up a DVD of PBS Curious George episodes.  The one he happened to grab was all about Curious George going "green".  Sam latched onto the episode about composting and took it upon himself to get us composting.  He oversaw the purchase of the black trash can, he had his dad show him how to drill holes in it, and faithfully drilled until the job was done.  Over the summer he has been helping me to layer food scraps and brown yard waste, and amazingly, we have successfully composted, in town, in a black trash can.   Soon we will empty the completed compost into the garden and see if we can keep those eating the compost alive for the winter!

It has been fascinating, and I really like putting my vegetable and fruit waste here rather than in the trash.  The most fascinating aspect of this has been the discovery of the crazy larva that have come to feast on our compost.  I had never heard of these guys before, but we have really enjoyed learning about them.  They are the larvae of a black soldier fly, and man do they ever like to eat!  Apparently once they become flies, they only live for a few days because they don't have a mouth!  As larvae they eat like crazy!  This picture is a little gross, but it's also a fascinating part of this process.

So if you've been thinking about composting, go for it!  This has been so simple.  I literally layer vegetable and fruit waste with brown dried leave, weeds and grass.  You can even put coffee grounds in there which help balance out and control odors.  I have tried to mix the compost, but I haven't been as faithful to do that as I would have liked.  If you get a trash can with a lid that doesn't pop off, (like ours does) you cal literally just roll it a few times per week.  

County Fair

A few weeks ago the boys and I attended one of our local county fairs.  The thought of loading up my four crazy boys and having charge of them in a public place on my own is an oft daunting process; add to that summer heat, and I nearly talked myself out of making the trip.  But, we went for it, and we had a really wonderful time! 

They got to see a baby calf who had been born the night before.  This is the protective mommy.

We checked out the dairy cows.

The incubator which had hatching chicks inside was a favorite of my oldest two boys especially!

Then, of course, there were the fluffy babies...

And the big, full-grown chickens.

Conrad liked the pony.

Farmer Sam

Farmer Marcus

Farmer Isaac

It's funny, with all there was to see at the fair, one of the most peaceful and fun moments was right here.

Fun, Hot Day Out

Today was a fun day!  I loaded up the 4 boys, and we headed over to a local fruit farm to pick apples, blackberries, play and get the chance to observe beekeeping in action!  The apple picking was fun. It's always such a challenge to not pick too many apples!  The trees had so many on them!

It was very hot!  Thankfully, between the stroller and the wagon, the youngest two stayed in good spirits.  Samuel was my big helper when I needed a hand getting them up the hills.

We enjoyed the playground!  

Next we were able to take a tour of the beehives!  We even got to ride on a trailer pulled by a truck.  Some of my boys found this more fascinating than the bees!  :-)

Our guide showed us one of the many hives, then he opened it up, and showed us the bees inside.  It was pretty cool!

We also got to watch him scraping the wax off of the honey, and then the boys got to watch him process the honey.  They even got to taste it!  The guide was so friendly and open to Samuel's barrage of questions!  I love Sam's eager desire to learn, and I'm always so happy when folks take the time to listen to him talk away and address his many questions.

Blackberry Cheek!

Shorty! :-)

Farmer Sam!

Whew!  Sweaty, wiped out, apple eating chums.

Finding those "me" things to do

Do you ever feel like you don't even know what you enjoy doing anymore?  I think it can be hectic work schedules, trials and hardships that come in waves sometimes, and I think that often moms can find themselves in this place.  I guess I should just speak for myself, but I know I have been there, and still am there sometimes.  I grew up very simply, and I don't need a lot to make me happy.  But somewhere along this mothering journey I've found that I don't often even know what I enjoy doing anymore.  My life is very rewarding, and I wouldn't trade it for something different, but it often comes at me fast and I often feel like I'm frantically paddling, just trying to keep my head above water.  Sometime in this last year or so, I have made a conscience effort to focus more on the gifts and interests that God has given me and to make time for them.  I can only take small bits of time to pursue these things, and I keep my goals very low, but it has helped me to begin to appreciate who I am more.  It's been fun to see my little mental list growing!

I love gardening.  This is something I can only do in small chunks, but it's so rewarding!  I love sharing this interest with my family.  The boys really wanted to grow watermelon and cantaloupe.  This is the fun fruit of our labor!  I love to work with plants, and I find if peaceful to work in the soil and with my plants.  Well, except when the mosquitoes come out.  :-)

I have taken up reading again, and I'm really enjoying this pursuit.  I used to read so much, then I just got busy and forgot how much I enjoyed it.  I have to read in small chunks, but it's been so rewarding!

Homeschooling, (I really enjoy teaching), some deep, theological classes at church, improving my cooking skills are also a part of my mental list of interests.

I also have this beautiful guitar that my husband bought for me a few birthdays ago.  I'm ashamed to say that I haven't played it very much since.  Yesterday, I had a Chris Tomlin song going through my head all day, and decided to employ YouTube to figure out how to play it.  Peter needed to run some errands last night, and graciously took the kids with him.  It gave me some time to practice!  I'm happy to say that by the end of that practice added to my 10 minute session today, I can play a song!  It's rough and slow, but I can do it, and I am enjoying it!

I am thankful for all that God has given me, and I'm thankful that He's showing me how to more fully enjoy the interests and gifts he has given me even in this sometimes hectic season of my life.

Oil change

A few days ago I needed to get the oil changed in our van.  While that in itself doesn't seem like such a big deal, it is when it includes hanging out at Walmart with 4 busy boys in tow.  I wish I could say that the picture above encompasses our experience, but that is far from the truth.  For the first hour we shopped for things we needed, and looked around.  Beyond my littlest's strong desire to stand up in the cart, even with belt snugly attached, we got along very well for that hour.  Once we concluded our shopping, we headed to the back to check on the status of the van.  They let me know that I would need to wait 15 minutes or so.  My boys had been good long enough!  They began to run around, and goof off.  It was nothing that bad, but I'm a terribly self conscience person, and I worry far too much about what other people think.  I kept trying to get the boys to sit on the bench and play with their toy cars.  That lasted for 1 to 2 minutes, if that, then they were up and busy.  I started to think about my insecurity that drives me to want my kids to be "perfect" in public.  I decided to lighten up and just start talking to those around me.  The first was a kind man from El Salvador.  He thought the kids were great, and he wasn't bothered at all.  He has 5 sisters and 4 brothers.  He talked to me about how in his culture families prefer boys.  We both agreed that boys and girls are important and without girls life would cease as we know it.  The next man I talked to was the one behind the counter when he finally called me up.  He was laughing at my busy, crazy boys and told me that he gets it, he has a brother.  "Ah, I see, you have a brother?"  He replied, "No, I said 8 brothers!"  He has 8 brothers!  He was laughing because I had asked my oldest to be gentle with my youngest.  Boys and gentle can be a tough combination!

As we were leaving, I joked to the elderly couple who were waiting in line that the room was about to get really quiet again.  The gentleman looked at me and said, "Why, there's nothing wrong with their noise, they are just being kids."  

Three sympathetic and kind souls; what a blessing to this tired mom.  

I realized through this experience that I do have too strong a tendency to focus on the negative comments and negative people I run into.  I often assume that people won't like the noise and craziness that my kids bring to pretty much everywhere we go.  I assume they are going to see me as some kind of failure.  But, so often they don't, and even if they do, their opinion is not necessarily true!

I think this tendency does stem from insecurity and lack of confidence within me.  I feel a bit like I'm rambling with these thoughts, but I think the bottom line for me is to learn to focus on the kind and thoughtful things said to me rather than the negative, and even more than that, I need to focus on how God sees me, and know that while I can always grow to be more and more like Jesus, God loves me as I am because of Jesus.

Reading update

I am happy to say that I have been keeping up with my reading so far this summer.  My greatest triumph is the completion of Don Quixote!  I found the first half to be the most interesting with the second half not as funny or interesting, but I made it through.  I did look for the story that is used primarily in the ballet, Don Quixote, and amazingly the story of Basillio and Kitri, (her name in the ballet) was only a few pages of the over 900.  It was fun to find it though.

I also read and finished two theological books, The Gospel According to Jesus by John MacArther, and Absolutely Free by Zane Hodges.  They were opposing views, but helpful as I continue to study salvation, by grace, through faith alone.  More posts on this hopefully soon.  It's been a busy summer!

I read Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands by Paul Tripp.  We have been in a class at church over the summer which has been teaching basic counseling and the call that God has placed on all believers to counsel one another.  Sometimes it will be in a more formal setting, and sometimes in less formal settings as friends.  This book is excellent on many levels, and I highly recommend it!  It really helped me to understand more where I come from, (my humanness) which contrasts so clearly from the grace-filled God who pours out His love on me!

I finished Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan.  I read a kid's version as a child many times, and I watched a corresponding video many times, but I don't think I'd ever read the original.  It was dry at times, and very fascinating at others.  And, I also read One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Alexander Solzhenitsyn.  This is not a long book, but it is an excellent read!

I am currently reading Gulliver's Travels by Johnathan Swift.  It's a little dry and harder to get going, but I am learning to push my way through even books that I don't enjoy as much.  The story is entertaining, and in the book's defense, I have read it the last several nights when I was pretty exhausted and nearly fell asleep reading it.

I am also nearly through Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery.  I honestly don't remember reading this book growing up, but I know the movies pretty much by heart!  I am loving this book! What's been really interesting is observing that my son, Sam, has some things in his imaginative, talkative, all-in emotionally, personality that is like Anne.  I'm looking forward to reading more from this series.

There you have it.  For me, this is a great deal more reading than I have done over the past several years.  I'm glad to be back reading more again.  I usually read before bed or when I'm nursing the baby.  It works most of the time.  It's been good for me, and I feel like my brain is getting more exercise these days.  My husband's started reading more, too, and it's fun to have something to talk about other than say....politics!  

First for mommy this time!

My first experience at a monster truck show was enjoyable.  The trucks were predictably big, loud, and entertaining.  Unfortunately, they had to compete with two crazy guys on motorbikes, who sped up a ramp and did really cool tricks in the air before they came down on the ramp on the other side.  Their stunts were incredible!  The monster trucks were cool, too.

Isaac has a thing for monster trucks.  He loves them!  When I asked him if he was excited about the show, he lit up and gave me this face.